Answers from Marilyn

Surnames are fabricated to protect true identities.

Answers will be posted after the next show.

Q  Marilyn, do you think I could get joint physical custody or at least visitation with my wife’s fake breasts? Since I bought them, I’ve never even felt them, but the paperboy told me they were worth the money.

Sincerely,

Ted Viwifa (Visitation With Fakers)

Answer: As an aside, this brings me to my favorite recommendation to men: never upgrade your woman to someone out of your league. When she married you, she wore her breasts as a belt which is why she could tolerated the fact that your comb over is longer than your Johnson.

 

Q  Marilyn, my husband banged the nanny and I want a divorce. Legally speaking, will I have to get a new nanny? She’s great with the kids.
Sincerely,

Annie Chkehe (Cheaper to Keep Her)

Answer: Nothing says recovery like revenge. Since she already slept with your husband and got the benefits, then the least she can do is raise his damn children. Maybe then she’ll be too tired to have sex with him too.

 

Q  Marilyn, my wife filed for an annulment citing fraud because I can’t get it up. The Judge gave a preliminary ruling that he was inclined to grant it, but he never even saw her naked. Can she be ordered to take her clothes off in Court or at least her top?

Sincerly,

Dan Theberea (Thinks He's Being Reasonable)

Answer: Likely not. If only Court was this fun. If they did, fair is fair. You’ll have to prove that your sleeping dog isn’t lying, which leads to a bigger question–is there anyone in the Court room that would give you enough lift to prove your case?